Exploring being female (for that's what we are) in a world of media myths, publishing incompetence, and marketing madness -- as well as the female submission and subscription to those messages.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

More From The "Where Can I Wear That?!" Files

Emily Finkbinder, if you are proposing this "Look That Will Razzle-Dazzle 'Em" as a way for a conman working a dirty shell game on a boardwalk somewhere to "razzle-dazzle 'em" so they can't keep their eye on the shells long enough to track the ping-pong ball, fine; I'll let this ridiculousness slide.

But as I cannot find any mention of such a scenario in this "Strike Up The Glam" piece on John Galliano's Spring/Summer '08* catwalk saunter, I can only conclude that this black-eye, however covered in glitter, is a fist in the face to me and women everywhere.

Furthermore, calling it "flapperesque" is a raised finger to my roaring 20's sisters who had enough trouble with an establishment so scandalized by their lipstick, bare knees, & pajamas that they were already considered fair game to abuse & murder. Something one can easily argue is still with us today.

Let me spell it out for you: black & blue bruised eyes are not sexy.

* Yes, that's 2008 -- this was published in the in the December/January issue of Interview magazine; I don't always get through every page in every issue so timely. How can I when there are stupid pages like this?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Don't Hate Me Because You Think She's Beautiful

Kate Moss is no Kelly LeBrock; I only hate Kate because she's an icky, attitudinal druggie poser (and I, sincerely, mean "poser" in that 80's wannabe lingo; not in reference to her career as a model). So when I heard stick-girl was coming out with more stinky stuff for Cody I was just going to ignore it. However, her new "fragrance" has been dubbed Vintage and so it's filling up my RSS readers. For that offense, I now take the offensive myself.

Now you know I'm a lover of vintage things, including fashion; but "vintage" as a smell is not something I'd go for.

Precluding musty mildew as the base note, "vintage" sounds like the "grandma smell" (a combination of Avon cologne, pennies & mints) you find in vintage purses and on vintage handkerchiefs. If I want to smell like grandma's purse, I'll just tuck an old hankie from an old purse into my bra and let my body heat generate a wafting odor sure to make folks ask me if I'm lost -- or if they can have a mint. (By the way, the mint will also smell like pennies and cologne, so beware, whippersnappers!)

Of her new spray d'offend, Kate had this to say to WWD:

"I am fascinated by vintage pieces because they not only have a remarkable beauty but also an innate sense of history," says Moss. "I love the fact that each object has its own story to tell. And yet vintage items can be reinvented with a modern twist to make them very fresh and relevant today. That's why vintage looks have inspired my personal style, my work as a fashion designer and, now, my fragrance."
I wonder who wrote that? And how many puppy uppers did it take to teach Kate to speak it on command?

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